


Caged Bird

by elleitra



Series: Caged Bird [1]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:26:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29126451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elleitra/pseuds/elleitra
Summary: Part 1 of 2 in a Cyberpunk 2077 fix-it fic centered around a Johnny Silverhand & Fem!V relationship."Why?" had quickly become V's favorite word while chasing the mystery of Johnny Silverhand, the biochip, and Arasaka. Each step forward only leaves her with more questions and she's low on time and answers. V must battle the clock with an arrogant ghost of a rockerboy in an attempt to save her life after a heist gone bad leaves her with only weeks to live and a terrorist slowly overriding her brain. The best part? She seems to have stumbled into an underground war between two megacorps, but hey, what else is new?Welcome to Night City, chooms.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V
Series: Caged Bird [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137194
Comments: 3
Kudos: 53





	1. Therefore I Am

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Welcome to Caged Bird, my first Cyberpunk 2077 fanfiction. I'm really excited about this story and where it will go, so thanks for reading! First and foremost, this is going to be a *very* long slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers between Johnny and V. Count on there being a ton of yearning but I promise the wait is worth it.
> 
> I am going to be taking a few creative liberties with some plot-points in order for there to be a "happy" ending to the game. The plan is that part 1 will follow Johnny & V during the events of the game, so these chapters will focus primarily on moments outside of the main quest lines barring a few ~emotional~ scenes (you know the ones I mean). The second part will be a post-game journey with a plot entirely my own.
> 
> In true Cyberpunk 2077 fashion, each chapter title is a song. I've created a Spotify playlist if you want to tune in to my inspiration and get a sneak peak at upcoming chapter titles and moods! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6LuUdaW3Gcx7z2a0CUgn7K?si=7z92jakvRNCGK9YDin-sjQ

There is a moment between sleep and waking; a moment before the brain kicks into gear when one is content to lay pleasantly ignorant of the problems of the world, wholly contented with life. Those moments are often too short and far-between for V. Waking up on the floor of her apartment usually meant that she’d spent the night before at the Coyote, drinking until she couldn’t see or stand and Jackie would—

The grief hit like a sack of bricks dropped on her stomach and the peaceful moment between sleep and waking was shattered. The weight of the loss threatened to pull her further into the floor and she wanted nothing more than to stare at the ceiling and never move again.

The omega blockers were still scattered and—glancing toward the window—V confirmed that last night was not a dream but, indeed, the arrogant terrorist that she now shared a brain with did try to kill her not once, but twice.

Perhaps it would be better if she just let that bastard succeed but Misty’s voice floated into her consciousness as she continued recalling memories, _“If he was here, he’d tell you to get your ass out of bed in the morning and do what you need to do.”_

And damn it if she wasn’t right. The last thing Jackie would want V to do was to roll over and die.promised him she would see him in the major leagues, and V never went back on her word.

So, she stood—and started planning.

___________

“Zapper-dumples and filth. In some ways, Night City never changes. Arasaka’s still a despotic machine and the world’s on a collision course with chaos. But hey, at least Rogue’s still alive.” Johnny propped his boots up on the table, looking at ease, completely unconcerned that he attempted to murder V the night before. The anger that’d been welling in her stomach since she woke that morning—with a broken nose and pounding headache—threatened to bubble over.

“You know, you got some nerve. First, you’re out to kill me, now you wanna be my pal? Make like nothing happened?”

“You know you don’t gotta speak out loud to talk to me,” Johnny said, glancing over his shoulder at the waitress that was now eying V warily. She managed a small grimace and wave before turning back to the glitching ghost before her.

“What do you want.”

“I’ve processed some shit, changed my mind. Don’t want you dead anymore.”

“‘Supposed to be relieved, am I?”

“Hey, wasn’t easy for me either. You woke up in a landfill, I wake up in your head. Wrestling with your thoughts, memories. Think we’re even.” V scoffed and reached for Takemura’s discarded coffee, chugging what was left and tossing the cup at Johnny’s head. She watched Johnny reflexively reach for it but it sailed through both his hand and his head, thudding against the back of the diner chair and rolling onto the floor.

She wasn’t quite sure what to make of the expression on the rocker’s face, he seemed both shocked and unsurprised as he watched the cup roll toward the counter.

“How are you able to touch me?” He snapped his attention back to her, the coffee cup forgotten.

“We’re linked, you and I. Body responds to me, we’re sharing the same real estate,” Johnny kicked his feet back up on the table and pulled his sunglasses off.

“I’m not an idiot, I saw what happened last night but, so, what? You go psycho and my body suddenly thinks it’s been injured? Forms a bruise on its own?”

“Fuck, I don’t know, V. I’m not the Arasaka Corpo-cog here. If anyone outta know how their tech works it’s you.”

“Fuck off with your high and mighty bullshit. I’m not debating morals with a terrorist that blew up Arasaka Tower with no regard for the people within.” V had no love for Arasaka, especially after they killed Jackie. Working for them for the years she did was the biggest mistake of her life—not that she had much choice to begin with—and now Arasaka threatened to take her freedom away again. “The only thing I want right now is to figure out how this damn biochip works so I can yank you out.”

“Yeah, listen—I’ve taken a step back, looked at things…think we might be able to help each other. We could start with Rogue. Her and I go way back to the stone age.”

“Why should I trust you? Remind me again.”

“Trust me. Don’t trust me, I don’t give a fuck. It’s the least of our worries, anyway.” Johnny continued to gesture with his sunglasses

“You’re the ghost of Christmas past, asshole. Any friends you had’er either dead or so old their memory’s gone.”

“Johnny Silverhand died a legend. Nobody forgets that.” V seemed to have touched a nerve, his somewhat relaxed posture became immediately tense and she could feel—almost like the echo of a memory—anger she knew wasn’t her own. She shifted in her seat and glanced out the window, determined to shake his feelings from her mind.

Fixers reminded V too much of corp agents, the people on her mother’s level. Find the right gonk for a job and then dump ‘em when the jobs done—and know that it’d literally happened to her, she wasn’t overly excited to be relying on another fixer.

“So you fuckin’ know Rogue. What do I say to her? Got a talking brain tumor claims it’s her old friend Johnny?”

“Trust me, Rogue’s heard dumber shit than that. Way back when you weren’t even an itch in your daddy’s ballsack.”

“Don’t need convincin’. Seen your memories. Gross.”

“Rogue’ll dance to any tune I play her. Just get us to the Afterlife.” The tension that marked his face relaxed as he tucked his arms behind his shoulder, folding back into that smug persona V was beginning to think was a facade.

“There is no “us.”” He’d vanished back into whatever pocket of her mind he’d carved for himself by the time she stood. “ _Fuckin’ prick._ ”

She stuffed her hands into her jacket, a gift from Jackie and Misty for her birthday last year. Black synth leather and tailored to her exact measurements—Jackie insisted, telling her the style was everything for an up and coming merc and that she better get used to wearing street clothes. The weight on her chest that settled there this morning seemed to pulse at the memory as she realized Jackie wouldn’t be around for her next birthday.

She would be lucky to be around for her next birthday.

But fate gave her a second chance at life, and as much as she hated to admit it, she owed that second chance to Johnny. And she owed it to Jackie to try and fix her brain and kick this tapeworm out.

“God, are you always such a drama queen?” Johnny appeared along the alleyway wall she absentmindedly turned into, smoking a fake cigarette.

“I don’t remember asking for your opinion.” She paused to survey him. He was still covered in dirt, scrapes, and blood, supposedly from his final days in a real body. “Do you chose how you appear or is this—”

“Do you always ask so many fuckin’ questions?”

“I’m just trying to figure out how this all works, asshole! The more I know the better.” She watched him take a long drag of smoke and blow it into her face. V reflexively pulled away swatting at air.

“I don’t really think about it, I just—I don’t know—I just start fucking talking.”

“So you really got nothin’ to do with it, no control, no nothin’?”

“V, do you think if I had any control we’d be having this conversation, really?” She rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone.

“Listen, asshole, I’ve got some really important shit to do today—”

“More important than saving our asses?”

“Yes.” If Johnny had any reaction to her answer, he didn’t show it. “So ghost off for a couple hours and leave me the fuck alone.”

She didn’t wait for an answer before storming down the rest of the alleyway, shooting off a text to Misty.

_Mama Welles is having an ofrenda for Jackie today. You should come. Meet me at the Coyote?_

Misty’s response came a minute later.

_I’ll be there in 10._


	2. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V and Johnny talk after Disasterpiece.

“Come on is it really that hard? Please, just one. For me?” V glanced at Johnny but chose to ignore him. “Won’t hurt those rosy lungs of yours any more than that fresh Night City air, so quit stallin’ and start puffin’.”

“Smoking’s for posers. And it stinks, too.” V stuffed Evelyn’s cig case back into her pocket. She wasn’t sure why she hung on to it—she’d been thinking about the first time she’d met Evelyn when she pulled it out. V faced Johnny and glanced down the hallway.

“Say whatever the fuck you want but just light up.”

“No.”

“Non-smokers are the fucking worst. Just my luck.” Johnny shifted against the railing, he seemed either uncomfortable or impatient—maybe both. “We goin’ in?”

“Let’s give ‘em a couple. You saw how she looked.”

“If it was up to me, I would’ve splashed some water on her face back at the studio and asked her straight up.”

“That’s because you’re an asshole. But it’s not up to you though, is it?” She smirked at him then retook her vigil against the guardrail.

“I don’t get what you’re waiting for.” Johnny shifted, mirroring her own position.

“You don’t have to get it.”

“Jesus!” Johnny pushed off the guardrail and threw his hands out in frustration. “I can’t fucking breath in here.”

V scoffed and rolled her eyes—and he thought she was the drama queen. The rain continued to soak through V’s jacket and her pants were already drenched but she didn’t mind much. All she could think about was Evelyn and the shit she went through, V was beginning to understand Johnny’s ardent hatred for dolls.

“Why do you hate dolls so much?” Johnny rematerialized next to her, smoke in hand.

“Fuck, isn’t it obvious?”

“I thought you would’ve loved ‘em. Someone to live out your deepest fantasies with—you’re literally always talking about sex.”

“Dolls aren’t real people when they’re like that, V. Chip in their brain fucks ‘em up, changes who they are, and then they don’t even remember it the next day.”

“So, you don’t like them cause they remind you too much of what you’re doing to me? Makin’ you look it in the face.”

“You’re acting like I got some kind of control over this. I told you already, I don’t want you dead. Just want you to get me into Mikoshi.”

“Mhm, yeah, you just see me as a pawn, that it?”

“Not like there’s anyone else that can do it seein’ as I’m stuck in your gonk brain.” She glared at the rockerboy next to her. He was right, of course, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.

They lapsed into silence and V was surprised when Johnny didn’t fade back into the dark hole he’d carved for himself in her head but instead stayed, glitching blue in the dimly lit rain.

V reflected on what he told her earlier that day about Mikoshi. She worked in counterintelligence at Arasaka and she’d heard rumors about soul killed netrunners being forced to work for the corp for years, but she never dreamed there was a fortress of imprisoned souls in cyberspace. Her parents paid for the best tutors and V was almost a fully-fledged netrunner by the time she hit puberty, but she never really thought twice about the rumors, assumed they were ghost stories told to keep the newbie employees in line.

“Why’d you tell Woodman how to make Clouds net secure?”

“—what?”

“I could feel your hatred for him—for Clouds as a whole—why tell him how to fix the place?” V signed and elected to sit on the stairs as she bore her soul to her tapeworm.

“Just because Woodman was a horrible person doesn’t mean that the dolls that work there—real people like Evelyn—should be left vulnerable to attack. Evelyn got burned by a runner because Clouds wasn’t secure, if Woodman implements what I told him, even for selfish reasons like keeping his “investments” profitable, that means those people are all the more protected.”

“You’re gonna get yourself killed trying to help every sad, poor soul in NC.” She was surprised at Johnny’s somber tone, she expected to be insulted or cussed out, called a gonk.

“I’m already dyin’, Johnny.” They locked eyes for a minute—a rare moment he wasn’t wearing his aviators—and she felt a sadness well inside her that V knew wasn’t entirely her own. “Enough of this. Let’s go.”

___________

Mr. Hands was a shady bastard and definitely ex-corp, V could spot ‘em a mile away these days. She knew she should be more careful with him and these Voodoo boys, Jackie told V enough horror stories for her to be wary, but for now, her only concern was getting a cold beer and a shower.

She dropped her jacket onto the back of her desk chair, quickly scrolling through any missed messages on her terminal before setting up to clean her weapons in her stash. It became a ritual during her early merc days, a form of methodical meditation, purging anxious thoughts the same way she purged gore and grease from her pistols and rifles.

V let her mind wander as she disassembled her revolver and cleaned each piece. She thought of Alt specifically.

Like Mikoshi, Alt Cunningham was an urban myth at Arasaka. Being a ‘runner herself, V knew every rumor about the legendary netrunner and the ‘Soulkiller’ program she wrote—but she was 60 years dead now. The temptation to ask Johnny about her and his plan for Mikoshi was almost overwhelming.

“You ask a lot of questions, V.” As if her thoughts summoned him, Johnny glitched into existence sitting on the worktable next to her.

“The only way to get answers is to ask questions.” She glanced at him but continued her work. “Back at Clouds, when I was having that relic attack, you moved a stool to sit in front of me.”

“So?”

“Was that a real stool? Or was it something the relic created for you to use? Like the cigarettes?” Johnny paused to light one of those cigarettes and took a long—fake—drag before responding.

“Don’t know.”

“‘Fraid of that.”

“Why?” She paused her ministrations to look up at him.

“‘Cause it means you’re not in control and it means I’m not in control. The damn thing does what it wants.”

“We knew that.”

“No, Johnny. This whole time I’ve been thinking that you’re doing this. You’re making this happen and you’re lying to me about it cause you just wanna blow ‘saka again.” She threw the cloth she’d been using to clean her gun down and pushed off the stool, a hand scraping through her hair in frustration. “I wanted _so badly_ for it to be that simple.”

“You really think I’m doing this on purpose?”

“Can you blame me? I seem to remember you saying ‘if I need your body, I’ll fucking take it’ the first night we met. So, yeah, of course I thought you were doing this on purpose.”

The air in her tiny stash grew tense and she could feel that tether between her and Johnny go taunt as he slid off the table and stalked up to her. She held her ground, she would not give an _inch_ to this bastard. He stopped a hair’s breadth away from her face. V hated the way he loomed over her.

“I’m not an Arasaka Corpo rat like you. I would _never_ fuckin’ wipe someone’s psyche no matter how much of a winy, pathetic, sad excuse for a merc they were.”

“ _Fuck. You. Silverhand.”_ She placed her cyber hand on his chest and _shoved_. He staggered back a few paces, narrowly avoiding the edge of her worktable, not that it would have hurt if he’d hit it. Despite that, V was never more grateful that she let Jackie talk her into getting a Gorilla Arm.

V left her stash, weapons forgotten, and when she glanced back, Johnny had ghosted.


	3. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V gets a call from an old acquaintance and stumbles into a mystery.

V’s head pounded as she unceremoniously plopped down at an empty table in the club-turned-ramen-shop formerly known as Rainbow Cadenza. She spent the morning running gigs for Regina and Wakako trying to recoup the eddies she spent getting information from Rogue. Her plans for getting the biochip removed were stalled, she was currently waiting on calls from all three of her leads.

She'd just left Takemura on Jig-Jig street and had every intention of bee-lining back to her apartment when Johnny waylaid her in the Cherry Blossom Market, whining about bootlegs and the world changing but not really changing. He’d been quiet all day, V actually hadn’t seen him much after their argument last night, the only time they talked was at the Afterlife and just now in the market.

“So, when were you going to tell me you’ve known Chippin’ In since you were tiny?” Johnny materialized in the seat across from her, like her thoughts had summoned him, smoking a fake cigarette and grinning like a cat.

“Well, ideally never.” V was still cautious, despite the ease of their conversation today, she knew how easy it was to set Johnny off on a tangent.

“Why does a corpo-rat like yourself know any of my songs?” V took a deliberately large bite of her noodles to avoid responding right away, taking time to weigh the merits of telling him the truth or telling him to fuck off.

“My uncle taught me all of your songs.” Johnny only raised a brow at her. “He was from Heywood, like my mom, but where she went on to work for Arasaka he went on to be a merc. He came round for the holidays and one year he taught me all about the evil corps and how they were destroying the world. He did it to piss my parents off and I was a kid so I had no idea what they really meant, I just like the way they sounded.”

“So you’re admitting you like my music? After you gave that street performer such harsh criticism I suppose I should be honored.”

“I’m not admitting shit, your music was different from all the classical shit I was raised on so _‘course_ I liked it—at the time.”

“You had an uncle that sounds like he at least had his head screwed on right, and you still ended up a rat?” V shifted in her seat, turning away from Johnny and trying to focus on the news broadcast, anything to quiet the wave of grief rising inside her.

A moment passed. Two.

“My uncle got killed when I was a teenager.” She hadn’t talked about her uncle in years and never to anyone but family, even Jackie knew not to bring him up, and she didn’t really want to get into it with the rockerboy in front of her.

Johnny was saved from replying by V’s phone buzzing. Meredith Stout’s contact photo flicked into view and V hesitated before answering—they hadn’t communicated since All Foods.

“Meredith?”

“V. Things at Militech worked out how I wanted them too. Thanks are in order.”

“Sure, worked out for both of us. Thought we weren’t supposed to communicate again?”

“We weren’t. Listen, I’ve got a _delicate_ matter that needs to be handled by someone competent. Someone with a skillset like yours. Interested?” V glanced at Johnny and raised a brow, he shrugged in response.

“Got deets?” The holo image of Meredith dropped the cig she was holding at crushed it underfoot.

“More missing cargo. I want you to track it down, find out who stole it, how, and why.”

“This comin’ from you or Militech?” V left the last of her noodles and vacated the ramen shop, too many ears, too much at stake.

“Does it matter?”

“Yeah, does.”

“Jobs from me, but the cargo is Militech. Weapons and armaments. I have a vested interest in finding it. Do it without being seen, and there’s a bonus in it for you. Sending details now.”

___________

V checked the coords Stout sent her a second time, she was unfortunately at the right place. It was a warehouse on the edge of Wellsprings overlooking the bay—Valentino territory. V usually avoided doing jobs involving the ‘Tinos unless they came from Padre himself.

“Don’t like this, V.” She’d been leaning against Jackie’s bike, contemplating if it was worth stepping on Padre’s toes when Johnny appeared.

“You’re not at all curious? Two Militech convoys go missing within a month of each other and end up in the hands of gangs? I would expect this in the Badlands but here in Night City—it stinks of somethin’ bigger. I wanna know what.” If Johnny had thoughts on her theory he didn’t voice them, so she spent the next hour in silence, surveying the building and plotting the best course in.

Night City was always active, even at 2 am, so V found it strange that no one entered or exited, in fact, she saw no signs of life at all; there weren’t even cameras. Not having information on the layout of the warehouse set her on edge, but she climbed to the roof and entered through a skylight hatch she scouted earlier.

The sound of her boots hitting the metal catwalk clanged through the abandoned building. She ducked behind a crate and pulled her revolver, waiting for enemies to come flooding out of their hidey holes.

Minutes passed and no one came, no shouts or taunts either, the whole building had to be empty or every single guard was jacked into a BD. V released a breath she didn’t know she was holding and began scanning the compound. Someone parked three armored Militech trucks in the center of the warehouse but her scans revealed nothing of note.

“Looks like your missin’ cargo.” Johnny leaned over the railing, getting a better look at the trucks.

“Yeah, but why leave ‘em here unguarded?” She continued around the catwalk, scanning as she went, waiting for that surprise attack to come.

The first floor looked like any warehouse, crates and barrels piled against the walls, there was a couch and TV set up in one corner but days old cups and take-out trash littered the floor around it. When V finally felt satisfied with her sweep of the building, she holstered her gun and opened the back of the first truck.

“Empty.” Johnny leaned against the next one as she pulled it open. “ _Empty._ ” When she opened the last one, she didn’t even bother to announce the nonexistent contents. Hands on her hips she paced in front of Johnny and the trucks.

“The corpo-cunt set up a maze for you and you followed it like the obedient little corpo-rat you are.” She flipped him the bird. “This is what you get for workin’ with corps, nothin’ good.”

“Somethin’s still not addin’ up here.” She swept the warehouse again, this time looking for shards, databanks, or computers with messages—gonk gangers always left something behind she could hack. It took her longer than she would like to admit, but she found a computer stuffed under an old pizza box.

V flung the box aside and opened the laptop, breaching through the measly ICE and accessing its messages.

_To: Christian Herrera_

_From: José Luis_

_I told you to have the cargo moved to the new safehouse last week. If it's still in the warehouse when I come tomorrow, I’ll have you dumped into the bay with the corpo-rats._

“So they moved the cargo to a safe house, time stamps on the messages put it at three days ago. But where’s the safe house?” She glanced up at Johnny, who’d perched himself on the back of the couch next to her.

“My money's on Heywood.”

“Wow. The Valentinos with a safe house in Heywood? I _never_ would have guessed.” She copied the message and sent a quick update to Meredith.

" _Got a lead. Looks like cargo was jacked by some Valentinos. Know more tomorrow._ ”

“ _Keep me apprised._ ”

________

V spent her morning running a few errands before making the call to Padre. The only lead she had on the missing Militech cargo was the ganger, José Luis, who she wasn’t even sure was a Valentino. If she could get Padre to tell her where she could find him, her life would be a hell of a lot easier.

“V.”

“Padre, I have a favor to ask.”

“Hm, you may ask but I cannot guarantee I will deliver.”

“I’m lookin’ for a ganger. Goes by José Luis, know anythin’ ‘bout him?” Padre paused on the other end and V began to worry she stepped into a pile of dog shit.

“Why are you asking about José?”

“Investigatin’ some missin’ assets for an acquaintance of mine, think Luis is tied up in it. Just wanna ask him some questions.”

“Hm, what fortunate timing. I need you to dispatch justice. José dropped a cop and has gone unpunished. You can change that—and find your answers. If you find out who’s covering for him, why the cops dropped the case, I’ll pay extra. Deets attached.” He hung up before she could say thank you.

She made her way to the coords Padre sent her in Heywood, all the while the feeling that she just stepped into something massive grew in the pit of her stomach. Pulling into the bus depot she began to understand why.

The safe house was heavily guarded and well equipped, their ICE was reinforced with programming she’d only seen a handful of times—corp grade, black ICE. The pit in her stomach deepened.

She hopped the fence, incapacitated the guards, and climbed onto the roof. Between her quickhacking and her stealth, she cleared the first floor of the compound easily and got to work investigating, starting with the two Militech trucks.

“More trucks? How much cargo did they nab?” She scanned the trucks and checked the trunks, empty as well. “Wow. I never thought I would live to see the day.” V glanced at Johnny, leaning against a crate. “You were right: somethin’ doesn’t add up.”

“Well, technically you _didn’t_ live to see the day, asshole.” She moved on from the garage, neutralizing two more ‘Tinos, stumbling upon Militech armor and ammo in the process.

“Militech ammo. Each shell’s like a signature, leavin’ behind a trail. BOOM - dead and all eyes are on the corp. Least for a little while.” V opened the Militech ammo crates while Johnny talked, noting that at least two dozen cases were missing.

“But why go through the trouble of stealing Militech gear? What's the end goal?” Johnny didn’t answer. V climbed the stairs, entering the final room, and found her target on the phone with—

“Arasaka?” Johnny glitched into existence next to José, scrutinizing the obviously corp made and branded computer, V managed to duck behind a shelf before she could be discovered. “‘Course, Arasaka is fuckin’ behind this, don’t know why I didn’t realize before. Shoulda known.”

She took the chance to incapacitate Luis, download the data from his computer, and lugged him over her shoulder and out onto the roof. She crossed to the far edge and dropped down onto some dumpsters before hopping over the fence and booking it away from the depot. She dialed Padre and set Luis’s body against the alleyway wall. Johnny appeared next to Luis, scrutinizing his face and smoking one of those fake cigarettes.

V told Padre what she learned about Arasaka, their plans to use Militech weapons to strike an Arasaka base, and José’s part in all of it.

“And did you find the answers you were looking for?” Padre’s ride pulled up, she hefted Luis into the trunk and closed the lid. She answered as it drove off.

“Yes, but I’ve got a new set of questions.”

“Listen, V. I’ve heard of other cases—same MO. This runs deep.”

“And Militech? They must have noticed Arasaka’s moves.” As V said it she realized why she’d been fingered for this job, and everything began to click. She looked at Johnny, he’d come to the same conclusion, likely as soon as he knew it was Arasaka behind this.

“Likely. But Militech doesn’t want war. They will delay, prepare, and prepare some more.”

“That info’s worth a healthy heap of eddies in some circles.”

“Not this time, no. Not my board, not my game. See you ‘round, V.” She stuffed her phone back in her pocket, and settled against the alleyway wall with Johnny.

She needed to talk to Meredith, figure out what was going on, but she had a sinking feeling that Johnny was right.

She was the rat and this was the maze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus the plot thickens. This update was a little longer because there is actually some plot deviation in this one, which will continue during the rest of the series, so hopefully, the chapters will continue to be this length or longer.
> 
> I just want to say thanks to folks that have been reading so far and have left kudos :)


	4. Trouble's Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V learns more about Johnny, Alt, and who could be behind the biochip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As an FYI, the main story mission 'M'ap Tann Pèlen' and subsequent VBD missions and 'Both Sides, Now' transpire during the course of this chapter.

The motel wasn’t a particularly tall building, V lived and worked in a city with scrapers that touched the sky, but none of them loomed over her like this damned motel. The neon sign on the overhang flickered in the late morning sun and she was grateful that she’d decided to come before heading to Pacifica, she suspected she wouldn’t even be able to stand here in the dark.

V never imagined that she would return to the No Tell Motel. In fact, this would be the one place in Night City she would happily burn down with Johnny. But Meredith wanted to meet in person to discuss the details of the gig and V begrudgingly agreed to meet here. She didn’t know if Stout knew what significance this place held for her—she doubted she knew—but one could never be too careful with Militech.

She’d tried to cross the street and enter the building three times now but her feet never moved, they’d turned to lead in her shoes or maybe her feet had sunk into the concrete.

“Or maybe you’re just a pussy.” Johnny was standing in the doorway to the motel, puffing a cig as usual.

She knew she could do it. It was just a building, Dex was dead, and she was more than well equipped to take on Stout if things went south. But the trepidation remained.

This was where she died. There was the parking lot where Jackie died.

It was strange, to be returning to the place she died. She wondered if they ever cleaned her blood out of the carpet or if it would live there forever, a memorial to her mistakes.

“Jesus, it’s just a shitty motel, no need to be so dramatic about it.” She wanted to sock Johnny in the face, but what else was new? Slipping her hands into her pockets, V wrapped her fingers around her bullet necklace and the photograph she kept there, finally finding the courage to cross the street.

The interior was the same as she remembered it—covered in trash, dirt, and graffiti. Meredith’s room was on the first floor thus she was saved from entering the hallway upstairs, she doubted she could handle walking down it again. She rapped her knuckles against Stout’s door and waited. She almost knocked again when the door slid open.

V wasn’t entirely sure what she expected but a motel room full of sex toys was not it. She stopped short in the doorway suddenly unsure if she somehow agreed to a hookup with the corpo.

Meredith was standing in the center of the room—fully clothed—smoking a cigarette and talking on the holo.

“The merc is here, I’ll call you after.” She hung up and spun around to face V, tapping her cigarette causing ash to cascade down to the floor.

“Uh, did I miss a memo?”

“Oh, the room. No, this isn’t for you.” V wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or disappointed. “Tell me what you found.”

“Nothin’ good.” She uploaded the coords and scans to Meredith, shifting her weight to avoid the urge to pace. “Your cargo wasn’t stolen by some ‘Tinos. Looks like ‘Saka jacked it and _gave_ it to the ‘Tinos with instructions to hit one of their own compounds.”

V learned how to read people in her years at Arasaka, it was one of the only advantages she could use on the street, but Meredith was unreadable. Her expression didn’t change at all, no shock but no reaction that led V to believe she already knew about it. The woman was good, and V began to suspect that she was higher in the chain of command than she originally led on.

“Anyone else know about this?” V hesitated. On one hand, telling her about Padre could get him killed but not telling her could get V killed.

“Don’t fuckin’ say shit, V.” Johnny materialized right in next of her face and it took all of her willpower not to visibly react to his presence. “Can’t fuckin’ trust corps, they’ll just flatline you both and be done with it. Not a fuckin’ word.”

“A fixer knew I was there but doesn’t know anything else. Had a separate gig for me.”

“You’re fuckin’ askin’ for it.” Johnny walked past her and out of her field of view, likely fed up with the corpo skullduggery and half-truths. Meredith was quiet for a moment, puffing on her cig and scrutinizing V. It was eerily reminiscent of Jenkins and she suppressed the shiver that wanted to race down her spine.

Meredith finally sighed and set her cig on an ashtray, taking a few steps toward V.

“You did well.”

“So, this was a test then.” A rueful smile stretched across Meredith’s lips.

“Of course.”

“It wasn’t from you, though.”

“No.” V was surprised at the bluntness, she expected more half-truths. All corps worked with mercs or gangs in some capacity, but it was usually two or three times removed—no one was ever approached by a declared corp employee. The dread that began to pool this morning when she arrived at the bus depot grew ever larger. “We’ve known about Arasaka’s plans for some time now. You were useful to me once and thus I recommended you to look into this matter.”

“Need a lap dog to do your bidding? Follow your orders and do your dirty work?”

“Don’t mistake me V, this is not a job offer. You were hired to confirm our suspicions, which you did, so you’ll get your eddies and never mention this to anyone.”

“And I’m never to contact you again, that right?” Meredith smirked.

“If that’s what you want. But consider carefully V, you’re going to need all the help you can get in the coming weeks.”

“What do you mean?” V felt like the floor was ripped out from under her or someone has dunked her into an ice bath—did Meredith know about Johnny?

“I know where to find you if I require your services again. It will be up to you if you answer or not.” Meredith slid past V and walked out the door, throwing over her shoulder, “Eddies will hit your account in an hour.”

V was tempted to follow the Corpo, force her to tell her straight up if Militech knew about the chip or if she was just guessing that V was planning something big. It wouldn’t be entirely out of the realm of possibilities, Militech knowing about the chip, that V had it now.

Yorinobu was going to sell the chip to Netwatch, which never made any sense to V, especially since Yorinobu required that Johnny’s engram be on it according to the messages she found in Konpeki Plaza. It seemed insignificant when she found it at the time but now she wondered there was something larger going on, if Militech was somehow behind it all. Put the idea into Yorinobu’s head and worked through Netwatch.

“I can’t fuckin’ believe you’re considerin’ working with that cunt.” V turned to face Johnny sitting on the bed and picked her jaw up off the floor where she left it after Meredith dropped that landmine.

“You’re not the least bit intrigued? Militech might know about the fuckin’ chip, maybe even know how to remove it and you’re not curious?”

“You can’t fuckin’ trust corps. If they want the chip they’ll just rip it out of your fuckin’ skull and put you right back in that trash heap where you started. I’m not jumping into bed with the _enemy_ if she calls you again and you answer, consequences are on _you_.”

She’d had enough of him and his anti-corp lectures, she needed to get to Pacifica anyway. Mr. Hands finally called her back that morning and set up a meet.

She left the No Tell Motel in the dust from Jackie’s Arch and vowed to one day come back and destroy it—if she lived long enough.

_______

The Voodoo Boys—didn’t pan out like V expected or wanted. In the span of 24 hours, she was used as cannon fodder, flatlined, then used as bait, and forced to relive some of Johnny’s worst memories.

All in all, not the best day.

Worst part was learning that Evelyn approached Netwatch about selling the biochip. Nothing made sense anymore and every time she thought she was getting closer to the truth she learned she was dead wrong. Again.

Netwatch wanted Johnny’s engram to lure Alt, no way they would have sold it to Militech. And Evelyn thought she could steal it before the deal was finalized and scalp Netwatch for even more. But it all went to shit.

“One step forward, two steps back.” She muttered to herself as she rose from the step she’d been sitting on to talk to Johnny. She still didn’t trust him, but as she learned more about his past she began to understand his hatred for Arasaka. She felt the way he felt about Alt—it was overwhelming in its intensity and complexity. Arasaka took that away from him, replaced those feelings with anger and grief and pain.

But something Alt said was nagging V, forcing its way to the front of her mind.

_What you saw was a subjective view of what happened. A warped account of events he locked away in his subconscious and replayed time and again. It bares no resemblance to the truth._

She wanted to ask what that meant, but the only person she could ask was the one guilty of the deception—consciously or not.

Overwhelmed by thoughts, theories, and questions, V wanted nothing more than to talk it all out, to think through everything and get a clear imagine in her head. Johnny wasn’t the type to plan or theorize and she doubted he even wanted to talk to her right now—he was on edge after their encounter with Alt.

She spent some time driving around the city, it helped to clear her head. She pulled her phone at a red light, scrolling through contacts to see who she could call and talk through everything with. Someone who knew enough about the situation to—

She knew _exactly_ who she needed to call. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and she pulled a U-turn, she had supplies to gather.

________

It was well past midnight when V finally arrived at the Columbarium. It was technically closed at this hour, but no one ever patrolled or kicked people out, so V carried her precious cargo through the aisles until she arrived at her destination.

She’d come from Judy’s apartment, she may not have known Evelyn well but seeing Judy’s grief was—it reminded her so much of her own grief for Jack that it felt even more right to come here. She was happy to give Judy her space and it brought her some measure of peace, knowing that the VBD’s wouldn’t be able to hurt another ‘ranyon.’

“Hey, Jack.” She’d visited his niche just once before, she felt more connected to his altar in the Coyote, but here she could talk freely about everything without the fear of prying ears.

She set the 6-pack down, Calavera Feliz, Jackie’s favorite beer, and opened two bottles. She settled down on the floor, leaning against the niche wall, Jackie’s beer set next to her. She clinked their bottles.

“To this.” The ache in her chest she’d been ignoring since she woke up days ago throbbed. She called Jackie and listened to his voicemail, V installed the ICE on his personal holo herself, she knew that no one would crack it—at least without her knowledge. “So, I told you that you wouldn’t believe about Johnny but man, you will literally not believe what’s happened since.”

V spent hours talking to Jackie about everything from finding Evelyn to meeting Alt and mundane things like Misty’s business and Mama Welles. It felt good to get so much off her chest, off her mind, to unload the burden she’d been carrying since she woke up dying.

“And I just can’t wrap my head around this whole thing. Nobody’s motivations make any sense to me. And this Militech chick? She scares me most of all—can’t get a read on her anymore. Feel like she played me the first time we met like she _wanted_ me to think she was desperate.” V could imagine Jackie’s rueful chuckle and he would tell her not to worry about it so much, to just enjoy the eddies coming in. “You always hated all the Corpo shit, I just hope everything I learned in counter-intel will somehow help me.”

V finally rose, exhausted from the day’s events. Her bed was calling her name now, and damn if she wasn’t happy to oblige.

“‘Till next time, Jack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you all so much for the kudos and for reading! I am really glad people are enjoying this story. We get a little more plot in this chapter as well and a decent chunk of the game-plot is covered as well. Super hyped for the rest of this series and the next one. Y'all have no idea.


	5. rock + roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V and Johnny visit a familiar local from Johnny's past.

V hated the badlands. She was used to the tall buildings, the glaring neon lights, and the constant motion of Night City. She knew how to operate there, always knew how long it would take her to get anywhere, and knew enough about both corps and gangs to only get into the trouble she wanted. Working with a Nomad to bring down a Kang Tao convoy down in the badlands wasn’t _exactly_ how V imagined she’d get to Hellman, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Panam sent her coords near the city line and knowing they would be heading out into the badlands to retrieve Panam’s stolen cargo, V opted to leave her jacket in her apartment.

She felt wrong, exposed, and oddly disconnected from Jackie, being without her signature jacket.But she didn’t fancy the idea of sweltering under the desert sun and didn’t want the pockets to get full of sand and damage the precious cargo she kept there; so into the closet it went.

She slid into the driver’s seat of her new Quadra 66 Avenger, intending to take it out for a test drive before racing with Claire tomorrow when Johnny materialized in the passenger seat. He didn’t say anything, just sat there, so V pulled out of the garage.

They drove in surprisingly comfortable silence for some time, listening to the radio. It wasn’t until they drove down a side street in Westbrook—V was testing the handling on some turns—when Johnny piped up.

“That used to be where the Atlantis was.” V couldn’t slam on the breaks fast enough, despite the car horns blaring all around her.

“Wait, really?” She stretched to look out the rear window, “Where? Did we pass it? I’m going back.”

“V, there’s probably nothing left.”

“So? I wanna see it. That place is legendary.” She pulled a U-turn at the next intersection, cutting off more than a few drivers and earning some rude gestures from pedestrians when she popped one of the front tires up on the sidewalk. Johnny was uncharacteristically quiet as she pulled up in front of the alcove that likely housed the Atlantis.

“Fuck, feels like I was just here yesterday.” She sat with Johnny for a moment, attempting to muddle through the feelings he was projecting onto her consciousness.

She could tell Johnny had bittersweet memories of this place, he’d spent a lot of time here before and after Alt’s death, and all of those emotions swirled together into some kind of fucked up trauma cocktail.

“You doin’ that intentionally?”

“Doin’ what?”

“Makin’ me feel whatever it is you’re feelin’.” He looked away from her and back toward the Atlantis.

“Fuck no.” His answer wasn’t as comforting as she hoped.

“Wanna go in?” Johnny took a minute to reply, V could tell he was reliving something, just not what.

“Fuck, yeah.” He ghosted as she climbed out of the car. It didn’t take much to kick the gate in and soon V was climbing over piled up trash bags to move the sheet metal prefab someone had placed over the blown open entrance. The inside was covered in dust but V would recognize the lobby to the Atlantis even if it wasn’t for the giant, albeit cracked, neon sign.

Pressing the elevator button proved useless, power had been cut years ago. V pried open the doors, finding Johnny inside staring at the ceiling.

“Think there’s a ladder in the elevator shaft?” She offered him a small smile as she asked.

“Shit, didn’t think we’d even get this far. No clue, but climb up there and see.”

“One of these days Johnny, you’ll pay me back for all this damned labor.” Her jab succeeded in pulling him out of whatever dark place he’d fallen into and he offered her a rare smile in return. V told herself she only cared about Johnny’s emotional state because it affected her own but thinking it didn’t make it true.

Climbing into the elevator shaft took more effort than getting into the building itself and then climbing the almost 20 floors to the actual club almost wiped V out completely—she was a netrunner, not a marathon runner.

The real test was leaping backward from the ladder to the slightly ajar door to the club and V almost slipped but regained her hold before she could plummet to her death. The club was covered in dust just like the lobby and there were signs of a raid all over the walls. Blast marks and bullet holes littered the first floor and V wondered how many people had died in the club when ‘Saka came knocking.

The whole place felt familiar but V knew wasn’t her own experiences lending to the sensation. Johnny materialized when she walked into the main room and was reminiscing as she investigated. V eventually found her way to the DJ booth, glancing at Johnny who’d meandered behind the bar.

They locked eyes for a moment, an almost overwhelming wave of grief poured from Johnny to V and she tried to offer her sympathy in return.

It was still strange, learning and adapting to how this bond between them worked. During the rare relic attacks V experienced, she could almost _feel_ Johnny’s thoughts, but she really only felt his emotions when it was overwhelming for him, like she was a runoff barrel during a rainstorm.

She tore her eyes away from his, suddenly uncomfortable with her own vulnerability. V ran her fingers lightly across the consoles and tapped a few notes on the synth-piano.

“Let’s go upstairs.” Johnny was leaning next to the stairway gesturing up with his aviators.

“Sure.” V ran her fingers along the wall as she ascended the stairs. She remembered what it looked like in 2013 when Johnny came to get Rogue before storming Arasaka. Alt’s comment wormed its way to the front of her mind again.

_It bears no resemblance to the truth._

The Atlantis looked pretty accurate to her.

The wall of windows was tinted an orange-red, casting an almost heavenly glow across the bar in the afternoon sun. It was obviously made to view the city at night because V couldn’t even see through the glass with all the glare it gave off.

The pair continued their leisurely pace through the second floor, content to remain in silence as they investigating what was left after the raid. The floor was littered in broken glass, shell casings, and in some places there was blood splattered across it.

V wandered behind the bar, rummaging through drawers and on shelves not entirely destroyed until she found a still intact bottle of tequila.

“What’re you doin’?”

“Pouring one out for the Atlantis. Least it deserves.” She put two shot glasses down on the bar before she realized.

“I can’t drink, ‘member? Just a ghost in your brain.”

“It’s symbolic.”

“Symbolic of the fact you’re dumber than a bag of bricks.” She flicked him the bird as she poured both shots, he replied in kind. She knocked hers back and followed it with Johnny’s—even if he couldn’t technically drink, she could drink for him.

“Jackie would have loved to see this place.” It was the first time she’d willingly talked about him to Johnny. He looked at her from across the bar, waiting for her to continue. “He always wanted to be an NC legend. Talked about you, Blackhand, Susan Forest, all of ‘em, like you were gods. Heh, all he ever wanted was to be in the major leagues.”

She’d been leaning against the wall as she spoke, Johnny coming to stand next to her, her solitary companion.

“Alt never liked this place, said they played shitty music.”

“They played Samurai, didn’t they?” Johnny let out a bitter almost-laugh that sounded more like a harsh exhale by the end.

“Yeah, she liked to fuck with me that way.” They lapsed into silence, both lost in memories and thoughts of people no longer around.

V still didn’t trust Johnny but at this moment, sharing a grief with each other they’d never shared with anyone else, she felt that first brick click into place, the beginning of a foundation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooooo! Finally some more V/Johnny interaction. I actually ended up visiting the Atlantis in 2077 to get into the mood for this fic and it was pretty cool, highly recommend. This chapter was a little shorter (I'm sorry) but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Check out the playlist for the fic on Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6LuUdaW3Gcx7z2a0CUgn7K?si=G7yPcOHuQDSjaOHPaCacow The title for this chapter is misleading, but it's named after the song 'rock + roll' by EDEN


	6. Under My Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V takes a job in the Badlands and discovers data about an NC legend.

V was exhausted when she finally entered the dingy room at the Sunset motel. She’d spent her evening chasing down Raffen Shiv with Panam and getting the revenge the nomad-turned-merc wanted so badly.

V wasn’t opposed to revenge, in fact, in most cases, she actively encouraged it. If she’d the chance to get her’s against Dex, she would have done it without hesitation. When it came down to it, revenge wasn’t just about settling a score for V, it was about making sure that no one else has the opportunity to make the same mistake and getting burned by the same person. If they were still out there, could still cause harm, then they needed to be taken down.

At least, that’s what she told herself as she began stripping her weapons off.

Johnny appeared, laying across the filthy motel bed and V immediately regretted the decision to stay at the place—she should have just driven back into the city and slept in her own bed.

“I like Panam, girl’s got a certain air ‘bout her, think she’ll be good for ya V.” She snorted, turning her back on the rockerboy and began cleaning all the sand out of her weapons.

“You’re only saying that cause she’s got a nice ass.”

“Can’t judge me for somethin’ you noticed too.” Johnny was of course correct, V _did_ find Panam beautiful. If V had one weakness, it was pretty girls.

“Yeah, well, at least I’m not a fuckin’ creep about it.”

“Hey, I had an output once that was _way_ into exhibitionism. Woulda sucked my cock on stage if Nance didn’t say no.”

“Fuckin’ gross, Johnny. Why the _fuck_ are you bringing this up?”

“‘M just sayin’, there are grosser people out there, V.” It was nice, not being at each other’s throats every ten seconds. If nothing else, it made V feel less alone in the world, knowing there was someone going through the same shit she was, that someone understood.

The comfortable silence from the car ride this morning returned as V worked on her weapons and Johnny sat on the table, smoking and staring through the window.

She wanted to say something, ask him about something from his Samurai days, anything to pass the time, when her phone started buzzing and Meredith’s Militech ID flashed into view.

“Don’t fuckin’ answer it, V.” She hoped she would have more time to decide what she wanted to do. She’d only seen Meredith three days ago, there was no way they had another job for her already—a small part of her hoped that they wouldn’t call her at all. Johnny was looking at her now, his signature scowl returned. “Nothin’ good ever comes from workin’ with corps, don’t you listen? Do not do it.”

“There’s no harm in findin’ out what she wants, I don’t have to do anythin’ yet.”

“Don’t want anythin’ to do with this.” Johnny ghosted, the common ground they’d found in the Atlantis earlier that day seemed to vanish with it. She answered her phone, finally.

“V. Was starting to think you wouldn’t answer.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not guaranteein’ I’ll agree to anythin’, just wanna hear what you got.” The holo projection of Meredith shifted, looking at something beyond V’s holo view.

“A Militech employee has gone missing.” She paused, V could almost see her corpo-brain turning, looking for the right words. “I have reason to suspect he will be attempting to cross the border. I want you to track him down and retrieve him. There is a Militech compound not far from the border where you can deposit him.”

“Why’s he tryna leave? More importantly, what's he know?”

“Neither of those are your concern. Your job is to find him and return him. Are we clear?” V considered Meredith’s offer, what accepting it meant to Militech and to Johnny. V needed to know what Militech knew about the chip—if they knew anything at all—but selling out was a high price to pay.

“Send me the coords.” V could almost feel Johnny’s resentment, even without him present, and hoped she made the right call.

________________

She’d gone almost the entire drive out to the border before Johnny showed up, spitting mad.

“Can’t fuckin’ believe you’re doin’ this.” She texted Panam to tell her that something came up and she’d have to meet her back at the garage at midnight, she didn’t respond.

“Johnny, you don’t fuckin’ get it. This is my _life_ on the line here. If Militech knows somethin’ I need to know what it is.”

“Not just your fuckin’ life, it’s mine too, y’know. Can’t just shove me into a box, ‘spect me to go along with your shit plans.”

“Well, maybe you shoulda thought of that before you blew ‘Saka tower to smithereens!” V wanted to take the words back as soon as she said them. It wasn’t Johnny’s fault Saburo was sick, twisted fuck, out to control humanity. Her regret was short-lived when Johnny spat his response though.

“Well, least I had fuckin’ principles. Least I wasn’t bending over to get fucked in the ass by Militech after I sucked off ‘Saka for years like you! All you fuckin’ corpo rats are the same, you can never fuckin’ change.” She wanted to scream at him, give him a piece of her mind and bring the arrogant, son of a bitch down a few pegs but they’d pulled up outside the mine field and Johnny ghosted off.

“Real fuckin’ mature.” V made her way through the field, disarming any mines in her path as she shuffled toward the border. According to Meredith’s deets, a nomad smuggler was supposed to bring the corpo through this minefield at some point in the next few hours.

V found a good rock outcropping and perched on top, setting up her sniper to focus on the veer off the road. She’d left her car far enough away that it wouldn’t be spotted from there—she hoped.

She waited for some time, watching the sun begin to rise over the horizon and paint the desert in a faint blue light. V might think the city did everything better than the badlands, but the one thing it couldn’t beat was the sunrises. She half expected Johnny to make an appearance, continue their argument from the car or berate her about something else but he never showed. She felt nothing from him at all, like he retreated so far back into the chip that not even his righteous fury could touch her.

V was surprised to realize she felt a little empty without him, like a small piece of herself was missing in his absence. It scared the shit out of her.

The relic must have made so much progress through her neural net that when Johnny wasn’t active it caused this reaction—it had to be. V shifted her position, attempting to shake the alarming thoughts and refocus on the road through her scope.

Minutes passed in silence until a decked out Thornton raced into view. She scanned the car for any identifying marks but couldn’t spot any. The only thing she did notice was the spare tires strapped in the back and an idea began forming in her mind. V sent off a quick text to Meredith and got to work.

She waited until the Thornton was well within the minefield, pulling sharp turns that V knew meant the car was heavily modified. She waited until the car started a particularly sharp turn, aimed, and fired.

Her own shot was covered by the sound of the Thornton’s tire popping and she watched both driver and passenger exit the vehicle to check the damage. He might be dressed like a nomad but V could spot the corpo in him from a mile away.

“So far, so good.” She whispered and climbed off the rock, exchanging her sniper for her precision rifle.

V approached the temporarily stranded car, disarming any mines in her path or too close to the vehicle. She remained casual—nonthreatening—even as the nomad pulled his gun and aimed it at her.

“Who the fuck are you?!”

“Name’s V. I just wanna talk.”

“You the one that pop my tire?”

“Yep and I’ll pay for the damages, but I just want to talk to your friend there.” She watched the unnamed driver look between her and the unnamed corpo, weighing his options.

“I don’t get paid enough for this shit. Okay talk, but make it fast.” He holstered his gun and got to work on replacing his tire. V walked up to the corpo, casually slinging her rifle over her shoulder and pinned the man with her best ‘you’re fucked’ smile.

“Hello, David.” He maintained relatively good composure, V pegged him for a medium level employee, shouldn’t know enough about the company to be threatening, at least, not worth sending a merc after. “What did you do to get Militech on your trail?”

“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Listen, I don’t make a habit of helping corps and I’m not interested in starting today. Tell me why Militech hired me to track you down and bring you back and you can go. Hell, I’ll even make sure you get through the minefield unscathed.” David looked to the driver who was intently fixing the tire, trying to seem as uninterested in the conversation as possible.

“I really don’t know, I’m just—I’m really just trying to get out of the city.” V sighed and aimed her rifle at the man’s chest. Her patience had run out and she needed answers now.

“Last chance, tell me _why the_ _fuck_ Militech wants me to zero you.” To his credit, the corpo only flinched a little.

“Okay! Okay.” He pulled a data bank from his bag and offered it to V. “I found this data bank. I was lookin’ for dirt on my boss, wanted to move up in the world and thought I could do it if I had some—leverage.”

“This you talking straight?”

“On the bank, there is—a file. On Blackhand.”

“Blackhand?” Johnny appeared next to V, suddenly interested in the corpo.

“Oh so now you’ll talk to me.”

“Fuck off and finish your interrogation, I wanna know about Blackhand.” V turned her attention back to the corpo, remembering that she had a clock to beat.

“What does it say about Blackhand?”

“I could only get through the first layer of ICE but it had ops information. Ops he ran for Militech, dossiers on his squad for O.W.S.O., and an index of all the info they stored on it. The data bank, I mean.”

“And you’re tryna smuggle this out? Sell it to some highest bidder?”

“I don’t know, I guess, I just had to get away from NC as fast as possible.” V finally lowered her weapon, giving the corpo a once over before joining the nomad at the wheel. “How long until you’re done?”

“Few more minutes, we’ll be out of here in no time.” V checked her messages before responding.

“You’ve got five minutes then you gotta nova or Militech will catch you. Eddies should hit your account in a sec.”

“So, you’re not taking me to Militech.” The corpo has joined them.

“I stick by my word, suit.” She started into a jog back to her car, she needed to be far away from anyone before Meredith holo’d her.

It took her almost half an hour to reach her car, stash the bank, and reposition herself on the rock face she perched on initially. She scanned the minefield looking for any trace of the smuggler, but they were long gone. She checked the road again—mercifully clear—and released the tension she’d been holding since she first messaged Meredith.

“So, you were never goin’ to actually do the job for the corp, huh?” She looked up at Johnny who’d perched on the rock, unbothered by possibly being spotted—he wasn’t real.

“Truthfully? I considered it. Wasn’t till I actually saw the car that I decided. Figured I could tell Meredith the smuggler never showed, sent her a message complaining that her info was bad before takin’ out the Thornton.”

“Mmm, is it possible this rats finally out of the race?”

“Been outta the race Johnny, ever since I got that first taste of freedom. I’ll never let it go.” Johnny’s response was cut off by V’s phone ringing, Meredith’s ID flashing into view.

“Meredith. You gave me shitty info. No ones come by for three hours.”

“I saw your message, I’m telling you that's not possible, we had exact details on their route and timing.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been out here _by myself._ No sign of any smugglers.” V’s corpo facade may be rusty but it unnerved her how easily she fell back into it. “Face it, you got played.”

“I’m sending a unit. They’re going to look for tracks, any traces that anyone’s been through the field. You want your pay, V? Help them.” Meredith hung up and dread spread through V’s limbs,freezing her in place.

“ _Fuck._ ” She’d forgotten the tracks.

“Forgot about the tracks, didn’t you?” She’d fucking _forgot_ about tracks.

“Johnny, not helping.” She had to think fast, or she’d get flatlined by a Militech ops team. She could run but then she’d have a price on her head. “Do you know how to cover tracks?”

“Do I look like a nomad to you?”

“ _A nomad!”_ V knew exactly who to call: Panam Palmer. She answered on the second ring.

“V? Why the fuck are you calling me right now?”

“Panam, sorry to wake you but I need help. How do I cover car tracks in the desert so a corp level scanner can’t find them?”

“Why the—”

“Panam, _please,_ it’s urgent.” She watched the holo strands of Panam’s hair shift as she stood.

“Find some strong underbrush—those desert shrubs all over the sand—grab some sturdy branches and tie them to your rear bumper so the scrape on the ground as you drive.”

“That's it? That's enough to fool a corp?”

“V, why are you askin’—“

“Got to go, thanks!” It was time to get to work.

___________

It took her way longer to find good branches than she thought but V eventually found enough to cover _most_ of the nomad’s tracks. She hoped it would be enough.

She was waiting on the hood of her car when the Militech unit pulled up. Two trucks, six officers each, and two netrunners. She watched them launch their security probes and begin discussing the best search parameters with each other. A lone officer—he looked like the leader—finally approach V.

“You the merc? V?”

“Yep.” She watched him give her a once over and suppressed the urge to sock him. V had a mean right hook she picked up from Jackie when he was teaching her to box, in addition to her Gorilla arm she could probably knock him flat on his ass.

“V.” Johnny warned, “Do not fuck this up.”

“Meredith said if I wanna get paid I gotta help.” So they set her to work. She ‘scanned’ the area for tracks, attempting to lead the unit away from the original path of the smuggler. There were a few close calls, a drone flying by where she took out the car almost gave her a heart attack, but she managed to steer it away by ‘finding’ something.

They spent another hour in that desert looking for possible clues before the captain decided to call it and report back. She watched them drive off from her car, waiting until the were well enough out of range to duck into the driver’s seat and pull the data bank out.

The outside casing was solid black, there were no Militech logos anywhere on it, and the only port was to jack the bank into a computer.

“Damn, I can’t jack into the bank myself. Gotta jack it into a comp.”

“Huh, don’t see many banks like that anymore.” She glanced at Johnny. He was right, banks made any time after the net crash had some kind of personal jack but this was from Johnny’s time.

“Could ask Nix, he got through most of Bartmoss’ deck and the Spellbook.”

“Wanna share something like this with anyone? Best keep it to yourself.” V found it strange Johnny was so quick to dismiss help. He was so interested in the bank when the corpo first mentioned it, now he seemed almost pleased that she couldn’t access it.

Well, he _thought_ she couldn’t access it. V still had an ace up her sleeve, one she wasn’t yet willing to share with Johnny.

“Yeah, best tuck it away, save it until I’ve got a ‘runner setup of my own.” Lying to him felt wrong but she didn’t see another option without tipping her hand. “Come on, let’s get back to the motel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone have theories about where the story is going? I'd love to hear your thoughts :) Hit me up in the comments and as always thank you all so much for the kudos!


	7. Cigarettes and Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V has a dream—about Johnny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long! I took the weekend off to celebrate Valentine's day and just relax. I think updates might end up being a little slower for the next week or so. Unfortunately, an update to my PC ended up burning my motherboard and I can't play Cyberpunk until they come out and fix it so research and motivation will be lacking because of that :(

“You believe Hellman?” She’d told Johnny she was feeling well enough the leave a few minutes ago, but she couldn’t bring herself to get up. He remained sitting in the plastic chair beside her, smoking a cigarette and offering silent understanding. They’d interrogated Hellman and he handed over the blueprint for the Relic but he was useless outside of that. It almost made her feel like Scorpion’s and the Aldecaldo’s sacrifice wasn’t worth it, she wasn’t any closer to a solution.

“Believe him ‘bout what?” When she sat down, she’d lit a cigarette and taken a puff, the first since she was a teen. She’d been against them vehemently once upon a time but the nicotine dulled more than just the physical pain now.

“That I can’t function without the chip.” Her whole neural net was rewritten in the span of a week—only one fucking week.

“Alt’ll fix it, you’ll see. Just gotta get us to Mikoshi.” Even his reassurance sounded hollow, like a broken record, forced to repeat the same chorus for eternity. She’d spent so long blaming Johnny for this like he had some control over the engram, but the blueprint proved what she’d known for some time now—Johnny is just as much a victim as her.

“So, I guess, Garry was right.”

“The fuck you on about?” She turned toward Johnny, tapping her cyber fingers against the table.

“Garry, the guy out on the street by Misty’s? He said that Saburo Arasaka was an immortal vampire. He wasn’t far off, Hellman said that Relic 2.0 was commished by the Emperor himself.” It surprised her in the moment when she heard it, but thinking on it now, it made total sense. Why bother trusting your son with the keys to the empire when you can just ensure that you’ll never die?

“This is the fuckin’ problem with Arasaka. Think they can just do whatever, mess with people’s head, live forever. Shit like that can’t exist.” They were talking in circles now, returning to the same argument and getting nowhere.

“I don’t disagree, Johnny, you got a point. But not everyone has the luxury of stickin’ to the man like you.” She pushed herself out of the chair now, tossing the half-finished cigarette she’d been puffing at Johnny’s feet. “Let’s delta.”

Hellman’s data was compressed to all hell, it would take her days to extract everything if she just used her deck, but if she plugged it into her terminal at home it would only take a few hours. She was anxious to examine the data, the test results, the original intent of the chip. If she could find _anything_ to help her it would be there. V didn’t have the same confidence in Alt as Johnny, convinced that there was something else going on, something bigger.

The drive back into the city was uneventful for once and V was falling into bed before she knew it, desperate to escape reality for a few hours.

_____________

_Silver cyber fingers gripped her chin, forcing her to look into the dark eyes of the rockerboy in front of her. Her breathing came out ragged and she wanted nothing more than to grab his face and force his lips onto her, to satisfy the growing burn in her lower abdomen. He said nothing but smirked at her like he knew exactly what she was thinking, what she wanted. His hand of flesh and blood, surprisingly cold, roamed down her bare chest, fingertips grazing along her peaked breasts before dipping lower and lower and lower—_

V shot up straight in bed, her labored breathing the only sound echoing through her apartment. Fragments of her dream still floated in her consciousness and she tried to force them away, push them out before the subject of those very dreams made an appearance.

She shrugged off the faint feeling of smugnesses that wasn’t quite her own and beelined for a cold shower.

_____________

She’d spent the day running gigs, starting her morning well before dawn with Judy at Clouds and ending it well after dusk winning the first race with Claire. Johnny’d been quiet most of the day. Popping up to point out things she missed while investigating or to talk about his “impressive cock” or complain that she hadn’t smoked again but he never mentioned her dream or that he even knew about it. _Small mercies._

By the time she returned back to her apartment that night she was looking forward to digging through Hellman’s data if it meant she could get off her feet for a few hours. Takemura asked her to meet him at a construction site across from an Arasaka facility in the early morning when she offered to run surveillance with him.

V was used to running on little sleep, spending hours reviewing reports for ‘Saka or just being out late with Jackie, but with the added stress of the relic, she could feel her body getting slower. She’d almost got pulverized by some Maelstrom fuckers today when she was slow to the draw after being spotted.

“Should get some sleep if your gonna be of any use tomorrow. Hellman can wait.” Johnny appeared in her seat at her terminal, feet kicked up on the table. She was standing over the sink, examining the new dark circles that appeared under her eyes.

“Since when have you cared about my health? Or how much use I’ll be to Goro?” He was right,she would be lucky to get more than four hours before she needed to meet him, but if they took shifts she could catch a few hours during the day.

“Since your body is my fuckin’ body. There might be a delay but I feel every fuckin’ thing you do.” Her apartment used to be her safe place, the one place in NC she could lock the door and shut the world out for a few hours, now she was hounded by a terrorist she couldn’t kick out. “Including the way you thought about me last night.”

Of course, he knew, it would be just her fucking gonk luck that he would know. She paused in the center of her apartment, she was conveniently facing away from him, having moved passed him toward her stash. “I have no idea what you’re talking ‘bout.”

“Bull fuckin’ shit you’ve been thinking about it all day. Can’t get enough of me in your waking hours you gotta squeeze me into—”

“Fuckin’ can it Johnny. For all I know it was your dream you’re tryna push onto me.”

“Nah, you’re not my type.” It shouldn’t have stung, but it did. “‘Sides I ain’t got a body, V, that’s what you’re for.”

“I’d never let you take control, told you that yesterday. Ghost off so I can focus on this data.” He glitched from the chair but instead appeared in front of her, grabbing her chin just like he did in her dream.

“You couldn’t handle me, I’d ruin everyone else for you.” His smirk as he said it sent V into a rage and if he hadn’t ghosted off, she would’ve hit him. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself.

She spent the rest of the evening in front of the terminal, digging through Hellman’s data, anything to keep her mind from wandering back to the insufferable rocker in her head, and didn’t rise until she left to meet Takemura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter, but the next chapter will be Johnny's POV, so it is relatively longer. As always, thank you for reading and for leaving kudos if you enjoyed it :D


	8. Stuck With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny makes a realization after the parade goes horribly south.

Everything had gone to shit. Johnny had predicted it would, could never trust a corpo and Saburo’s ex-bodyguard at that, but a small part of him hoped that maybe, just once, it would all work out. He’d never hated being right more, not that he would ever tell V that.

He glanced to where she sat in the plastic motel chair, shotgun resting in her lap and eyes trained on the door. They hadn’t spoken much since V stumbled into the room, bleeding all over the carpet from a wound in her leg she received trying to rescue Takemura.

He’d been floored when V ran up the stairs instead of to the open doorway and into the freedom not 20 feet from her. He stood, yelling after her as she bolted past him and dipped behind cover, taking on Arasaka combatants head-on instead of just slipping past them like usual. He kept telling himself he was only worried for her because if she got flatlined it was over for him too, but the excuse didn’t seem to stick.

He paced around the whole motel room while she bandaged her own leg and downed Med-X after Med-X. He just stood there and watched her do it all, going crazy inside her head with nothing to do but think and think and _think._

He wanted to smoke.

“Hey.” She snapped out of whatever daze she’d been in and looked at him like she was startled to see Johnny sitting there. “Light a smoke for me?”

“Don’t got any.” He knew it was bullshit, she kept the doll’s cigarette case on her and sometimes stared at it when she was feeling dramatic.

“Bullshit.”

“Said I don’t got any, Johnny. Fuckin’ drop it.” He scanned over her, looking for any indication about why she was acting this way, his eyes finally settling on the second-hand on the shotgun and the empty holster on her side.

She’d lost her revolver, he realized, the custom Overture she always kept strapped to her hip, she must have dropped it when the floor caved in under her—or sometime after that.

“Was that gun special to you?” She rolled her neck, shifting into a position he knew meant she was ready for a fight.

“What?”

“The revolver you always carry and clean like you’re makin’ fuckin’ love to it.” He’d expected some kind of snark back, but she just faced the door again.

“Yeah.”

“Of all the fuckin’—had to be your dramatic head, huh?” She continued to ignore him, so he went back to watching out the window.

He wasn’t entirely sure how the chip worked, but he gathered enough to know that what he was seeing outside was based on V’s memory of the place and what she could hear. If she couldn’t see what he was looking at, the chip pulled whatever it could from her head to make an image appear.

It was jarring at first, to watch a car pull into the parking lot because V heard the engine then watch the make and model change when she stretched to see it out the corner of the window. He’d gotten used to the feeling of uselessness—he couldn’t even keep watch for fuck’s sake—he could do nothing but advise the merc beside him and hope by some miracle she finally listened to him.

“It was my uncle’s.” He almost jumped when V spoke. “He left it for me when he died.” She propped the shotgun on her leg and ran her hands down her face. “It was the only piece of him I managed to smuggle away when my parents purged the box of stuff he left me.”

“You are a sentimental bitch.” A harsh, rueful laugh escaped her lips and she leaned forward.

“Like you aren’t? I bet you would kill for some kind of memento of Alt—somethin’ physical to remember her. Make sure you don’t start forgettin’ her face.”

“I don’t need shit to remember Alt.” She met his glare and held his gaze, a familiar sneer curling at her lips. He wanted a fight, wanted to feel something besides the anxiety curling around in his stomach but V was already backing down, rising from the chair and turning away from him. “What, no fight in you today? Gonna let me walk all over you?”

“You’re a real fuckin’ asshole sometimes, y’know? Everythin’s always gotta be a fight with you, can’t ever drop the insufferable rockerboy facade cause _god_ _forbid_ someone actually—”

“You think this is a facade too, huh? Damn, don’t need anything of Alt’s when I’ve got you ridin' my ass all day!” He stood from the table, useless watch position forgotten. “Well, sorry to rain on your parade princess but this is all me—I don’t fake rebellin’ against Arasaka like you.”

“You think playin’ part in _Hanako fuckin’ Arasaka’s_ kidnapping is playing rebel? Stealin’ the chip might have been the worst decision I ever made but it sure wasn’t some fake act of rebellion—it was a gamble to get my best friend the only thing he’d ever wanted in life _and_ shit in the shoes of some powerful people.” Johnny’d given her shit almost every day for her failed heist on Arasaka but hearing her say it was the worst decision she’d ever made—it bothered him for some reason.

“Don’t act like you’ve ever done anything against Arasaka cause you were fightin’ the man. You’ve only ever been in it for yourself.”

“And you haven’t?” She winced and stumbled as she put too much pressure on her bad leg, a string of expletives falling from her mouth. “Jesus, Johnny, you’re not some rockerboy anymore, you’re just a dead ghost stuck in my head.” She leaned against the far wall, pulling a cigarette from the case and examining it. “You’re just a dead ghost stuck in my head, killing me slowly.”

He watched her sink to the floor, the sharp pain she’d felt a few seconds earlier finally hitting him forcing him to lean back against the table. He glanced out the window, still anxious that an Arasaka convert would come rolling in at any moment.

“Yeah, I know V, that’s why I’m gonna fix it.” They locked eyes for a moment and Johnny could feel V’s mixed emotions—frustration, hopelessness, anger, resentment, and mixed into it all—gratitude and something else he couldn’t place.

Johnny told himself that his desire to save V was because he didn’t want to be like Arasaka, being forced to rewrite someone else’s psyche, turn V into someone else. But now he had another reason, he’s known it for a while, realized it when she got flatlined by the VDBs and he panicked when she didn’t immediately get up.

He hazarded a glanced at the exhausted merc, still examining that cigarette like her life depended on it, and decided that he wasn’t going to fuck this up.

“Tell me about your uncle.” He watched a small smile tug at her face and realized that he was in deeper shit than he thought.

_______

They’d been talking for a few hours, the longest conversation they’d ever had without it dissolving into some kind of argument, and Johnny was in the middle of a story about one of their first few gigs at the Rainbow Cadenza when V’s phone started buzzing and Meredith’s Militech ID flashed into view.

They both fell silent, glancing at each other before the phone still sitting on the chair by the door.

“Corpo’s got impeccable timing, I’ll give her that.” Johnny rolled off the bed across from V and ghosted to the window, ignoring the hollowed-out feeling in his stomach. He waited for V to answer the call, readying for an argument he knew would come but V continued to stare at her phone. “You gonna answer that?”

“Nah. Militech corpo just happens to call me when I’m on the run from Arasaka? Too convenient, she either knows I lied to them or wants to use me for their little war on ‘Saka—don’t want part of either deal.” Johnny had to admit, he was a little proud. “But maybe that’s just my brain becomin’ you.”

“If it keeps you from makin’ gonk ass decisions, can’t be the worst thing in the world.”

“Why don’t you want to see what's on that databank anyway?” V’s phone stopped buzzing but the hollow feeling remained. “Nix would be discreet, he’s ex-corpo too, he gets it.”

“Wanna risk your friends like that?” He was walking a tedious line and mentally pulled away from V as much as he could, he didn’t want to risk _her_ feeling what he was feeling.

“It’s less risky than raiding Arasaka tower just to put a nuke into it so the digitized psyche of my ex-output can escape into the Net. This is a databank that _at most_ would have a leviathan daemon on it—those are relatively easy to neutralize with the right set up, Johnny.”

“Jesus, you’re insufferable.” She smirked at him and Johnny quickly averted his gaze, glad for the aviators he always wore.

“If you don’t wanna know what happened to another legend from your time cause it’s too painful or whatever then fine, I get that, but at least say that's why you don’t wanna crack the bank instead of trying to guilt-trip me. Thought we were passed all that shit.” V rose, coming to lean against the window, and peeked outside. He wished she’d stayed on the bed, far away from him. “You were the one that suggested letting a little trust take hold or whatever.”

“Just meant you should listen to my advice, not that I was going to spill all my inner secrets.” His jab came out harsher than he meant it and he watched a flicker of hurt dance across V’s face before she composed herself.

It was better this way, he’d been telling himself all along, and the call from the Militech corpo reminded him. V and Johnny were not the same, he needed to act like it.

They lapsed into silence for a while, the easy conversation they’d found earlier long forgotten. V received calls over the next few hours from her friends—Judy, Panam, and that cop guy who’s name Johnny didn’t bother to remember—but she ignored them all, only interrupting their silent vigil at the window to eat and replace the bandages on her leg. Even when Meredith called again, she didn’t glance at her phone, she just sent the corpo straight to voicemail.

The hours ticked by, the sun making its descent bathing the room in the colors of a desert sunset.

Johnny considered ghosting off, disappearing back into the chip, but it felt almost wrong to leave V here alone, even if she was never truly alone. He could feel the exhaustion pulling her down and he worried that if he ghosted she’d crash—then they’d really be screwed. So he remained, content to sit in silence while V moved about the room.

He watched the way she moved, even with the limp, there was a lethal grace to each step and she made almost no sound—even now when she wasn’t trying to hide. He would be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate her curves, the toned panes of her stomach, and the shape of her—

“Johnny, did you hear me?” He wondered if V knew he was staring at her ass, completely unaware of whatever question she’d asked him. “I asked if you thought it was safe to leave.”

“‘Probly not, could stay here forever an’ ‘probly still wouldn’t be safe.” V checked out the window again then settled back into the chair, shotgun once again trained at the door.

“I don’t think I can take another night at the damned Sunset Motel. Don’t know how Panam’s got a soft spot for the place.” Johnny hummed his agreement, scanning the empty parking lot.

“Think they make these motels especially for royal fuck-ups like us? AC’s busted, dirty needles under the mattress, shitter’s clogged…” V huffed a laugh and ran fingers through her hair—a not _entirely_ unwelcome vision of Johnny's own silver hand running through her hair swam into view. “No, for real—who fuckin’ comes here to sleep?”

“Panam and us apparently.”

“We’re a couple miles outside Night City. Someone leaving town just keeps drivin’. Somebody goin’ there sleeps in the damn city! What goods a motel in the middle of nowhere?”

“Yep, just us two fuckin’ losers. And I thought we were screwed when Goro kidnapped Hanako.”

“Mhm. See? Decide to cross a corp, this is what happens. You think you just stepped in shit. Actually, you fell headfirst into a cesspit. This is what’s gonna happen if you don’t return that Militech bitch’s calls. We’ll be camped out here again because—”

“And here I thought you didn’t want me to work with Militech, now it sounds like you think I’m gonna die if I don’t.”

“Hey, I’m just tellin’ it like it is—you sold your soul to them the first time you took her call.”

“Not like it matters now anyway, ‘m dying an’ ‘m starting to think nothin’ we do’ll change that.” He could see her losing hope, he knew if she did they’d both be dead before the sunrise tomorrow. He had to do something—anything to motivate her to fight for just a little longer, they were so close—just needed to know where Mikoshi was.

“Anyone knocks blast the fuckin’ door, no warning.”

“And if it’s Goro?”

“Who’re you kiddin’? Been twenty-four hours since we split up. Complete radio silence. Rest in peace, bastard.”

“Saw him yourself. Even ‘thout his implants, he was a good fighter. He’ll pull through.”

“Doesn’t matter how good you are in Night City. On your own, you’re fucked.” He knew it then, where he had to take her, what he’d promise to get her to fight for her own life. He opened his mouth to tell her about the Pistis Sophia when a van pulled into the parking lot, the engine revving as they parked. “Hear that?”

“Car.”

“At this hour, in this place?” He glanced out the window on instinct but he already knew it was only one van. “Fuck, just one? Finger on the trig, V.” Someone knocked on the door and he watched her eyes leave his and train on the door. “Not a word,” he whispered.

They both sat in silence, Johnny watching V watching the door, both on the edge of their seats. He watched her lurch forward as she stood, putting too much weight on her bad leg.

“Don’t touch that door.” Despite his warning, despite the panic that was threatening to overwhelm Johnny, despite his instincts to grab V’s hand, he watched as she opened the door. His merc never did listen, did she?

Looking at her now, still riding that wave of relief when he saw it was just a doll and not an Arasaka strike team, Johnny realized maybe he was the one that fell headfirst into a cesspit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took forever, like I said before work picked up really unexpectedly and then I had some personal life stuff come up. Anyway, finally done with this chapter! We're halfway through the re-write of the main plot and I've solidified everything for the post-canon plotline as well.
> 
> As always, thank you all so so much for the kudos!


	9. Devil On My Shoulder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V makes a deal with the devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super excited about this chapter y'all--its got fluff, angst, and some major plot points, PLUS it's the longest chapter to date. Enjoy :)

The view of the sunset from the Pistis Sophia was the only possible contender for a Badlands sunset. V thought she’d learned every inch of the city in her time after Arasaka but she was beginning to discover she’d only scratched the surface.

Leaning against the concrete railing, V examined Johnny’s dog tags, running a thumb over the raised imprint of his name.

“Robert John Linder.” Johnny materialized on the railing next to her, legs swinging over the side as he leaned onto his elbows and lit a cigarette. “Why’d ya change your name?”

“Fuck, isn’t it obvious? Fancy corpo tutors didn’t teach you about the Mexican conflict?” V scoffed, a hoarse laugh falling from her mouth.

“All I got taught was ‘Saka propaganda, ‘member? Wesson family tradition.” She watched Johnny flick the remainder of the imagined cigarette off the balcony then lean back on one arm to look at her.

“Was a deserter, like I said. Left the conflict and came here. Wanted to shake the world awake, make ‘em see what I saw in those fields but ‘Robert John’ isn’t really somethin’ people scream at a stage and, at the time, didn’t want people knowin’ I deserted.” V laughed, shifting her weight to meet Johnny’s gaze. “Johnny Silverhand had a nice ring to it plus it went with the custom arm Milt made.”

“Milt?”

“Ripperdoc I knew. Served with ‘em before we all left. He patched me up every time I needed it.”

“That's where Thompson took you. After—after ‘Saka nabbed Alt.” Johnny only nodded, he may be looking toward the sunset now but V knew he was reliving that day. “He said you were like a son to him. Did ya feel the same way?”

“Yeah.” V and Johnny only recently started really talking about the people they’d lost. She may have told him every story she had of her uncle when they were hiding in the Sunset motel, had even started talking about Jackie when Meredith called and ruined it. It seemed like grief was the only topic of conversation that didn’t dissolve into an argument between the two.

V pulled out the bullet necklace and the other keepsake she kept in her pocket and placed them both on the wall in front of her. Johnny reached for the necklace, running one organic finger over it before withdrawing.

“That you and Jackie?” Johnny gestured to the picture V had placed down.

She ran a finger over the creases in her photograph, one of the few things she had left of Jackie. They’d taken it the first night V moved into her apartment, he’d insisted on a house warming party to “christen” the space.

“Jackie was sentimental too. Taught me that even when people are gone from this world, they live on in our memories of ‘em.” She picked up the worn photo paper, pressing it against Johnny’s tags. “S’why I keep leavin’ him voicemails and carry this damn photo with me everywhere. S’like, somehow a small piece of him is here. Pushin’ me forward, remindin’ me that I promised I wouldn’t give up. That I’d see him in the major leagues.”

“He was a good choom.”

“Yeah, he was with me through so much. My uncle’s death, gettin’ booted from ‘Saka, my parents disownin’ me, everythin’. Best choom anyone could ask for. Helluva optimist too. Always knew he’d reach the top someday, by any means necessary.”

“Only thing that makes an NC Legend?” Johnny pulled another cigarette from the void and lit it with his metallic fingers. “Death.” He took a long drag before looking back to V. “This city will swallow you whole if you don’t go down in flames first.”

She was eerily reminded of the fateful car ride with Dexter Deshawn and had to shake her head to lose the image of him sitting across from her in the backseat—of his gun pointed at her skull. She absentmindedly ran a finger on the scar she’d painstakingly styled her hair to hide near her temple.

“Think I should’ve called Meredith back?” Johnny looked surprised when he faced her.

“When? You almost flatlined the second you left the shitty motel.” She shrugged in response.

“Guess I’m askin’ if I should call her. If we’re not looking at the databank, we still gotta figure out what Militech knows about the chip. Could be a better option than Hanako.”

“Shit, V. Don’t you ever learn? We’d just be trading one shit deal with a corp for another. Doesn’t matter if it’s Arasaka or Militech, they’ll both fuck us in the end.”

“And if Militech knows where Mikoshi is? Or we can just bypass Mikoshi altogether—they could even have the resources to get you a body—”

“Since when has gettin’ me a new body been a goal?” V realized too late she’d been thinking out loud, too late to reel her thoughts back into her own half of the brain.

“I just thought—”

“Nah V, ya didn’t think. Didn’t bother to ask if I’d want someone else’s meat sack—if I’d wanna sell my soul to another corp for a second shot at life.” He was right. She’d been so wrapped up with her own ideas, her own hopes for a future that she didn’t stop to consider reality: V was running out of time and Johnny would never willingly work for a corp.

“Forget I mentioned it.”

“Fuckin’ hell, you’ve said gonker shit before.”

“Probably nothin’ ‘bout the chip on that databank anyway, it’s just as ancient as you.” V didn’t expect the chuckle that escaped Johnny but welcomed it all the same, anything to chase away the feeling that she’d fucked up again.

She returned her focus to the city and the overwhelming amount of things she needed to do—Judy’s revolution, Panam’s Basilisk, the Peralez’s called her at some point—but her eyes snagged on a rundown rollercoaster and an idea started to form.

“You ever ridden a rollercoaster?”

___________

They arrived at the Afterlife a few hours later, still riding the high from the rickety coaster. V smiled at the memory of trying to fix it, Johnny heckling all the way until she actually got it running. Despite his warnings and the less than sure feeling she had about the safety measures, they gotten on, strapped in, and set it off.

It was one of the brief and rare moments of joy she’d felt in ages. The fading sunset—now V’s favorite time of day—painted Pacifica in shades of orange and red, the colors brushing along Johnny’s face like the sun itself was a lover caressing their goodbye on his cheekbones.

She found herself looking back at him, glancing to find him already staring at her with the first real smile she’d ever seen on his face—just for her.

That _damned_ smile.

She was glad for her Kiroshi optics at that moment, that they allowed her to take a “photo” of whatever she looked at and store it forever. Johnny likely knew she’d taken a pic of him, even seemed to smile wider at the thought.

But time was coming for her—for them. Those moments of joy and friendship, the understanding and trust they’d built wouldn’t matter if V failed to get into Mikoshi. Hanako wanted to allow time for suspicion after her kidnapping to settle, give her time to convince her brother nothing was amiss, so they’d planned to meet at Embers in two weeks.

Johnny thought it was too far out, that she’d be a brain-dead corpse by the time she actually found out where Mikoshi was, he said as much in the car ride to the Afterlife.

Despite the moment they shared on the rollercoaster—whatever it was—they were back to bickering like an old married couple by the time V settled in her car, Johnny materializing in the seat next to her.

She was still thinking of some witty retort to Johnny’s last comment when she passed Emmerick, offering a wave in greeting, then stopped before the rockerboy leaning against the wall.

“So—you ready?” He seemed impatient like something had put him on edge. He kept glancing between V and the booth Rogue frequented. “Rogue’ll be here any minute.”

“Yeah, I guess—you okay? That nervous ‘bout tellin’ Rogue?” The retort she’d been waiting to throw at him died on her tongue; he’d dropped their previous argument entirely and now only focused on the task at hand. She could almost feel his anticipation through whatever neural bond the chip created between their two psyches—and she didn’t like it.

“No, just take the damn pill.” She reached into her jacket pocket—empty of the usual keepsakes—and examined the pill now resting in the palm of her hand. She’d left her necklaces and her photograph in the glove compartment of her car when they’d gotten to the coaster, not willing to risk them falling out then was too busy trying to prove a point to the rocker in front of her to remember to grab them when they got to the Afterlife.

“Okay, one more time—you’re just going to talk to Rogue about Smasher, right? Then you’ll hand me the wheel and hop back in the passenger seat.” She trusted Johnny to keep his word, he had just sworn that he would give his life for her’s, a sentiment she returned—but one could never be too careful.

“That is the plan. Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle. Ya might even enjoy it.” At any other moment, she might have risen to the bait, chased that particular insinuation down the rabbit hole.

“Actually, regretting this already.” She could still turn back, she’d suffered a massive attack that laid her out just that morning, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to pop a brain-altering pill only hours after she semi-recovered. “You’re gonna strum her guilt, squeeze her for favors? Remind her all about how she left you for dead in ‘Saka Tower?” Guilt-tripping did seem to come easily to Johnny.

“First, she was sure I was dead already. Second, I’d never do that to her.”

“So you’ll guilt trip me but not Rogue—feelin’ the love, Johnny.” The comment fell flat, the humor she’d usually put behind it was swallowed up by an uncharacteristic feeling—one V wasn’t intent on pondering.

“Two different things, comrade, don’t get ‘em confused. ‘Sides, don’t have to.”

“Heh. What, ya gonna use your charm?”

“Rogue’s never said no to me, ever.” V was sure she could see the back of her skull with how far she rolled her eyes at him. She glanced to the bar, Rogue’s booth, really anywhere that wasn’t Johnny. She wanted to help him get Smasher, knew it in her bones and knew that if the roles were reversed Johnny would do the same thing—she didn’t know how she knew it, she just did. “Come on, V. Let’s delta.”

“Okay, I’m ready.” She wasn’t sure what to expect when she took the pill, but Johnny’s smirk as he walked away from her then disappeared was not reassuring.

She waited to feel different, to feel a loss of control—really anything at all. Seconds passed by and nothing happened. She was getting ready to call out for Johnny when a sudden burst of pain exploded behind her eyes and V felt like she was being tossed into an ice bath.

She was dimly aware that she was speaking—moving—but it felt like she was seeing through water, unable to make any decisions or really interpret what was happening, helpless to watch as Johnny downed drink of after drink then ask Claire about a tattoo artist.

 _Yeah,_ she thought, _this was a mistake._

___________

To say V was pissed at Johnny would be the understatement of the century.

V awoke, head pounding, vision jacked, and Rogue sitting across from her. She pieced together most of what Johnny’d done the night before from what little memories she retained. Now, sitting across from him, watching how he so nonchalantly regarded the state he’d left her in—by god she was pissed.

“Where’s my jacket?” Her favorite jeans were stained to all hell and back and her boots were covered in vomit and smelled even worse but her jacket was no where to be seen.

“What jacket?”

“The jacket I _always fuckin wear_ Johnny!” If she’d had the strength to stand, she might have throttled him. The black synth-leather jacket was custom made, a birthday present from Misty and Jackie, and the first thing she ever owned after getting terminated from ‘Saka.

It was her signature jacket, the most memorable piece of her kitsch style, the only thing that set her apart from any other gun-for-hire. Being a merc was just as much about style as it was skill and now the one remaining piece of that style she managed to hold on to was gone.

“Oh, that one.” She stood, Johnny disappearing from the table and reappearing next to what she assumed was the bathroom door. “Try in here.”

“The hell is this place?” She asked she surveyed the filthy motel bathroom.

“Place where you can puke all over the carpet, no problem.” He’d lit a cigarette, now leaning in the door frame behind her. “Beggar, not chooser.”

V suppressed another bought of vomit and checked the bathroom again for any sign of her jacket, this time braving to check behind the disgusting toilet.

There, crumpled in the corner like it’d been chucked there without regard, was V’s jacket.

She snatched it up and brought it into the main room, running both fingers and eyes over every stitch and panel to check for damage. The entirety of the left side of her jacket on the front and sleeve was burned, the plastic substitute for leather cracked in some places and almost completely burned away in others.

“It’s ruined.” Her voice came out as cracked and broken as her jacket.

“’S just a jacket. Needed ‘nother one anyway.” She felt used, like everything Johnny’d ever told her—promised her—was some elaborate ruse so he could take her body for a joyride before she kicked him out of it.

The anger within her threatened to boil over, the words she wanted to fling at Johnny to _hurt_ him begged to be released and her hands clenched, the synth-leather between her fingers audibly shifting under the pressure.

V thrust one of those hands into her pocket, retrieved a blocker, and downed the pill before she stopped to think about what she was doing.

If Johnny was going to lie about his plans, so was she.

___________

Once upon a time, V would’ve burned down the No Tell Motel with Johnny. She’d let her mind wander there just once, daydreaming about a time when they both had their own bodies and no responsibilities and could burn down every building that they’d ever been wronged in.

She knew this would be where Meredith would want to meet, it was one of the few places in the city that’s clients remained anonymous and locals knew that the punishment for snitching was a long, painful death—or so was rumored, no one ever snitched.

V popped blockers almost obsessively throughout the day but hadn’t taken one for about an hour, she hoped her timing was precise enough that Johnny would regain enough control to force himself through the haze of the drug _just_ after she was finished her business here.

This time, she didn’t hesitate to enter the building and strode right up to Meredith’s room, it opened on the first knock.

“V.” The room was decorated the way she remembered it but now Meredith sat on the mattress before her—fully clothed.

“Meredith.” They regarded each other with a corpo gaze, it sometimes scared V how easily she slid back into her corpo persona. Everything melted away then, the fury she still felt for Johnny, her impending doom, the grief she felt for each piece of herself she lost with each passing day, it all faded to the background as she examined the woman in front of her.

“I have something you want.” Her voice even sounded different, distant, the word choice and tone so alien to who’d she become in the last six months. _Too easy_ , she thought.

“If you’re referring to your services, I can assure you, we don’t need them nearly as much as you think.” Meredith tilted her head, puffing on a cigarette. “Don’t get overconfident V, you botched the last job.”

V let a faint smirk creep onto her face, Meredith was walking into her trap. “Did I?” She tilted her head, a predator assessing its prey—V hated to admit it but Jenkins would be proud of how easily she was dismantling Meredith’s Militech training.

“What do you want?” Meredith was beginning to realize she wasn’t dealing with just some merc, V vaguely wondered if she even knew V worked for ‘Saka counterintelligence.

“I want everything you know about Arasaka’s _Secure Your Soul_ program and _Relic 2.0_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, that all happened. We are getting ever closer to the end here and I'm curious to hear your theories on how it will end! Feel free to leave some comments if you have any! And as always, thank you, thank you, thank you for the kudos! You all give me the motivation to keep writing this story.


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